Yet Another Pairing Story
by MasterJediLink
Summary: CHAPTER 8 UP! Link is forced into a dating game and eventually forced to choose. A day off from everything is cut short. Help me figure out who to put him with next by voting now!
1. Prologue and Link Has a Problem

Disclaimer: I don't own anything; just ask my mom who won't let me hang a poster I got from a friend on the wall of the bedroom I sleep in because she owns the house and all of the walls! (Sry, just a little upset)

Here is my first Zelda Fanfic. It has a slightly overused plot, but I hope you enjoy it, and please tell me what is wrong with it!

(Link's notes/thoughts)

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Prologue

Time had passed, like it would for everyone else, but when Zelda sent me back I could not forget. Time made me do it again, and would have after that if Zelda had not saved me reliving those nightmares of Ganondorf and a crushed Hyrule for an eternity.

"_I will not send you back Link. This was your destiny and my powers should not change that. May peace find you and follow you through your destiny." _Zelda had relieved me of the burden and I was free to follow my own path. But it would seem the people of Hyrule would not let me continue on my own.

Chapter 1

"Link, my boy, have we ever truly thanked you for saving us, no, Hyrule?" I was walking with the King and Darunia through the castle. The castle was all I ever got to see since I was declared the Official Hero of Time (apparently you are not the true Hero of Time unless you had a fancy party to announce it). I rubbed my cheek bone, hoping that I would not get a bruise from the constant jabbing of Darunia's very pointy, and overly gelled hair. The only reason the Zora King wasn't there was that he was experiencing difficulties with getting fused to his throne because he didn't move enough.

"Do you mean the banquet, the other banquet, the other banquet, the ball, the Hero of Time Ceremony, and the ceremonies to make me an honorary Korki, Goron, Zora, and Gerudo? Or perhaps you are talking about how my descendents and I will never have to cut grass for rupees? Then again you could be taking about…" I continued on, trying to get my point across. I did not want anything else from them, I just wanted to live my own life.

"Ok, Ok, we get it. But just come right this way we have a surprise." I groaned and the quickly had to duck to avoid the Goron King's hair as we entered the Great Hall.

"Link!" I was tackled by a tall green haired woman about my age.

I sighed as I started the formalities for meeting a new woman in a very "My lady, it is an honor to make your acquaintance-" I was cut off by Nabooru, the Sage of the Desert.

"Well Saria you might as well go home now, he doesn't even recognize you." She laughed full heartedly and then I heard the laugh of some one I was not too fond of.

"All of you losers should leave because Link and I are already engaged, that's how much he loves me." I remembered my manners at the last moment and turned a very loud groan into a yawn. Ruto was the Sage of the Water and would never shut up about how I had to become engaged to her in order to get the last Spiritual Stone and continue my quest. I could not bring myself to tell her that I couldn't stand her so I had to suck it up. That and she was the next in line to the Zora Throne.

"Link did not forget me…I hope." The green haired woman couldn't be Saria. Saria was doomed to live forever as a child, the woman, was gorgeous with curly green hip length hair and beautiful green eyes, almost exactly like the child Saria I had grown up with. But then again, as I looked at the crowd they were all very beautiful.

Zelda was dressed in a fancy white lace dress, and Impa sat next to her in a traditional Sheika garb. Saria was in a long green dress that was beautifully embroidered and Malon's typical work clothes were scraped for a red tight fitting dress that was accented with... oh crap, scratch all of that. I have no idea what accented even means. What do you expect when your best friend is a girl and teaches you how to sew and what clashed with what. But I didn't turn out too girly, just able to sew up the arrow holes on my tunic. I am not girly, really.

"Saria what happened to you. You got…big" Saria giggled and then stuck her tongue out at Nabooru.

"Ahemm…" The King cleared his throat to get our attention. Saria sat down at her seat and I was dragged up to the end of the long table where the King was seated. "Link here has agreed to join our little dating game and-" He continued.

"What the hell do you mean 'dating game'?" I shouted, but then the King made a weird motion with his hand along his neck and Darunia snuck up behind me and held my mouth shut.

"As I was saying before I was so rudely interrupted…oh yes, Link will date each of you for a week, and you will act as if you are married and live together. At the end of the date he will give you a red rose and you will continue on into the next round, but if you get a white rose you have to go home until we call you back to insult Link before the final picking."

"Oh my god I love this show!" Ruto squealed.

"Oh and last thing, if Link refuses to participate you all get to hunt him down and kill him, OK? However, in return if he does not pick you, you cannot be mean or kill him or he won't save you when Ganondorf comes back." Everyone at the table gasped. Ganondorf was coming back?

"Oh don't act like you don't know it, this is Ocarina of Time, there is still Wind Waker and possibly Twilight Princess when Ganondorf comes back, get over it. There are a bunch of other rules I have yet to make up, and/or I'm just too lazy to tell you them, but I will when you mess up. Darunia, the Zora King and I are all judges so suck up like crazy!"

"Are you almost done, or at least can I let him go? He's drooling all over my hand." Darunia took me out of the room without even waiting for an answer. Once we were a good distance from the Great Hall Darunia let me go.

"Have you all lost you mind? Are you trying to make my life more difficult than necessary? If I don't pick Ruto I become disowned by the Zoras, if not Nabooru I become disowned from the Gerudos. Malon looks after my horse, Saria has been my friend for two eternities, Zelda is the Princess of Hyrule which speaks for itself, Impa should be with Sheik to bring back their race (not to mention he would kill me in a heartbeat) and Anju has connections in Termina." I just wanted to scream at him, but had to settle with kicking over a table.

"Then don't participate." Darunia stated flatly, which pissed me off even more.

"'Don't participate…'" I mocked, "That is a great idea, I don't participate and then I end up being able to take even a bath without fear of Ruto, then there is Zelda's magic, Impa is totally ripped and has "powers". Nabooru could assassinate me at any moment and Malon could have killed Ganondorf with her arrows. Ok, so Anju isn't a threat but still…" I trailed off. This just sucked. How come I had to have friends that could beat me shitless? "Why did you do this to me Darunia? I thought we were friends, brothers even."

"Don't do that to me. It was pretty much to avoid all the political problems you listed. Every race wanted their daughters or themselves to marry you. This was the only way we could agree. I was the only one who thought you should have a say in your future so be grateful. Oh, and by the way, I'm not sure you noticed this, but my daughter, Link, is also competing."

"Wait Goron Link, the one I had to blow up to get him- I mean, _her_ to calm down was a girl. You named your daughter after me?" Just the thought that I was going to have to date the Goron Princess almost brought me to tears.

"Just do not, _ever_, call her a boy and you will be fine. I was wondering Little Brother if you would mind, not marrying her, but keeping her in the running for a while. She is the only Goron female and needs to marry a Goron."

"So how are you boys doing here?" The King burst in, cutting off my answer. "Come we are about to find out who will date the Hero of Time first!" He left humming the wedding tune and I followed him back to the Great Hall.


	2. Competition 1: Who Knows Link?

Disclaimers in first Chapter

Hello there. I am so sorry it took me this long to update, but my grades were slipping so my mom cut back on internet time, _a lot_. Then, at the beginning of break, my brother got a new computer game so I pretty much lost _all_ computer time. I must say that the beginning of this chapter was fun to write. What can I say, I like making people look like idiots just ask my brother. I tried not to rush this chapter as much, but I might have. I am really bad at correcting my own stories so review please!

(Link's notes/thoughts)

Author's thoughts/notes

_Annoying Fairy_

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Chapter 2

I just had to laugh; the hall was in total disrepair. Everyone stood frozen in shock as they all turned their heads towards me. Everything that was on the table was now on the floor as if someone had flipped it over. Zelda's white dress was covered in red wine and she was about to hit Ruto over the head with a wine bottle. Impa and Nabooru were staring each other down, knives in hand, and Goron Link about to roll over Saria. Malon had an arrow notched at Anju who was calling upon her chicken powers.

However, the funniest thing must have been the King's throne. Most of the padding had been ripped by knives, and there were arrows sticking out of it. The best part was that one of them had set it on fire. I couldn't keep it in any longer; I sat down, my face in my knees, and laughed. I just couldn't stop, it was just too perfect.

"Hey why are you laughing? My throne is on bloody fire!" The King yelled, and then everyone else started to giggle, then laugh as the King threw a tantrum and tried to put out the fire by sitting on it ouch. Since the paramedics had to treat the King for second degree burns on his butt, Darunia took over and lead us to a smaller room with small desks for everyone.

"Due to the…_accident_," Darunia couldn't hide the huge grin on his face as he continued, "I will continue the contest. We shall find out who gets to date Link first. Every wife should know their husbands, so we will test you on your knowledge of Link. You will see a test on your table, you may begin." Ruto opened her mouth to protest but was quickly silenced by Darunia when he told them they had five minutes to finish. I knew that Saria would do well, and was not surprised when she finished first.

"Time's up, quills down. Link will personally grade your tests, so you should be back in a half an hour." Dumping work on others is not a nice thing to do They all left, including Darunia, and I got to see the questions and how much they messed up. Actually I was surprised that the Kings even knew the answers to some of the questions they put down, but I figured that if they knew the answers I wouldn't be correcting them myself. The questions were very hard also; many of them were about my childhood and other obscure things that I barely remembered. Anju and Goron Link got none of the questions right. However, there was a three way tie between Zelda, Saria, and Nabooru, all with a perfect score.

"_What did you expect from a thief, Link?"_ I turned around to see Navi right behind me.

"And where were you, o helpful guide? Helping her cheat?" Navi had been mysteriously missing since the whole fiasco started. Her shade turned slightly redder in a fairy blush. "And how is Saria's fairy today?"

"_Just tell the group that there was a tie between Zelda and Saria and see how they react._" Navi completely dodged the question.

"You done yet Link or do you need another minute?" Darunia called through the door.

"Just hold everyone outside for a moment." At that Navi picked up one of the quills and added an "e" to my name on Nabooru's test. I quickly marked it wrong and let everyone in.

"I have to announce two winners; there was a tie between Zelda and Saria, so Darunia…" I trailed off and let him take over.

"In order to break the tie you both have to play rock, paper, scissors. Have fun." But watching them be stuck in a tie for ten minutes was anything but fun, so with a yawn Darunia stepped in.

"Alright then, since that apparently won't work, both of you will write down Link's number one fear and the winner will, be announced by Navi." Both quickly wrote down their answers and gave them to Link. Zelda wrote down Ganondorf, but Saria wrote that my fear was the dark.

"_And the winner is, bum bum-bum bumm, SARIA!"_

"Finally, now Link will escort Saria to their home in the forest and stay there for a week. Have fun you two, you leave in two hours so get prepared.

I quickly packed my bags and readied Epona and found myself with an hour of free time. Navi and Saria's fairy, Rieal, were off flirting or something. I was about to leave the stable when I ran into Saria all packed up.

"Are you ready Link?" I nodded and she looked puzzled. "Where is all of your stuff?"

"With Epona, do you have a horse?" Saria looked down at her feet.

"I can't ride."

"Well then I'll teach you. It would take half a day by myself without all of my things; it could take almost a day if we go on foot." She agreed to lessons and we spent the hour watching her fall off the horse and lose control. "You can ride with me if you want, but just ride the horse to the exit to Hyrule Field. Everyone would throw a fit if we rode off together."

Saria giggled, and I was reminded of how different she was, how much more grown up she had become.

"Hey, how did you know that my fear was the dark?" I never told anyone that, not even her, and it had been nagging at me all day.

"It wasn't that hard, I was surprised Zelda didn't get it. You realize that you scream every single time you fall into a hole, right? Oh, and in really dark rooms you have to light the torches before you can even think of continuing. Remember when Mido pushed you into a hole and sealed you in there, because you pushed him out of your house? You got so angry, it was sort of scary. After you finished talking to Mido, he was all pale.

"Oh no, it's time to go, race you." She dashed off, her hair flowing behind her.

"Ouch," Navi rammed into me, "what was that for?"

"_Stop staring at her ass and get moving."_


	3. Date with Saria: Day 1

Hey everyone. How are you? ...Good? That's awesome. This chapter is a little rushed. I need your opinion, I have no idea who Link should date next, I've been thinking about it but I cannot decide. Also, I would love someone's opinion on who should get dumped and who I should keep just for laughs. So vote for your favorite or pretty much anyone else!

(Link's notes/thoughts)

Author's notes/thoughts

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Chapter 3, Saria Day 1

The entire group saw off Saria and me. It was wonderful as Ruto sobbed so hard she fell into the City mote, and you could still hear her wail Sorry Ruto fans if there are any she is a brat in this story too. We continued to ride until the party moved back into the city. Saria was a little shaky and her horse didn't seem to like her so I held on to my ocarina, just in case something would happen. About ten minutes later I was forced to use the ocarina to calm the horse or else Saria would have been thrown off. We continued on until the Gate was far form view

"Alright Saria, we can stop here, I'm afraid you will end up dead if you ride that horse any longer."

"OK, stop, stop horsy, stop. SSSSTTTTOOOPPPP…" Confused the horse only sped up to the point that Saria couldn't hold on any longer. There was a sickening thud as she hit the ground.

"SARIA!" I jumped off of Epona and ran to her. "Saria are you alright?" She stirred slightly and I could see a trickle of blood run down her face. I uncorked a bottled fairy yet she was still unconscious. I pulled out my ocarina and played Epona's Song and Epona and Saria's horse came back. I held Saria up as we rode to the forest.

"Link what did you do now? Is that Saria?" Mido strode up to us, and when he screamed out Saria's name, the whole village surrounded us.

"Just move it Mido." I pushed past all of them and went to Saria's House, (it was larger than before) and I placed her on the bed. "Come on Saria wake up."

"Link! I demand to know what happened. Why is Saria-" Mido stormed in and stopped suddenly as he saw me sitting on her bed, my face just inches from hers. I blushed and followed Mido out side and into the Lost Woods leaving Navi there to watch over her while I was gone.

"What the hell happened to her Link? It is entirely your fault, just like it was your fault for the Great Deku Tree's-" I felt my anger rising as I remembered my years as the "boy without a fairy." I saved the world twice and yet he still wouldn't forgive me for something that wasn't even my fault. I couldn't control myself as I picked up the scrawny little Korki by the neck and place him on a high branch.

"You better let me down Link. When everyone else hears about this you will be in so much trouble." He yelled as he squirmed.

"As long as you are comfortable you can listen to me. Saria fell of a horse and hit her head. I healed her with a fairy but she has yet to wake up. Also, I did not kill the former Great Deku Tree. That creepy old man that you let through did." At the last comment his face fell. Out of pity I took him down and left him there, crying.

I quickly raced back at Saria's house only to find that she had not awakened.

"_Link, Saria has a fever; you need to get a blue potion now!"_ Navi and Rieal were struggling with a wet cloth, so I helped them put it to Saria's forehead.

"She is burning up…" I trailed on. This was bad, very bad. "I'll be right back, Rieal I need you to watch over Saria, Navi make sure Mido doesn't come in here, he has had a bad day." I pulled out my ocarina and warped to the graveyard.

Once my feet touched the ground of the Graveyard I dashed to the potions shop and grabbed the blue potion scattering hundreds more rupees on hideous woman's counter than the price of the potion. The moment I stepped outside I pulled out my ocarina and then I was off to the Sacred Meadow. I actually allowed the ugly bashing monster (how the hell he is still in existence is beyond me) to fling me against the wall to save time. I jumped into a secret hole to grab some more fairies, just in case and then I was off, purposely getting lost in the Lost Woods so I would come out to the village and right by Saria's house. I jumped off the ledge and ran into the hut where I saw Mido plunge a knife into his chest.

"Damn it Mido." Reluctantly I uncorked a fairy for him and as he healed I propped up Saria and let the blue potion slide down her throat.

"Uuuhhh… Link is that… you?" Her green eyes slowly opened and I sighed, but then Mido moaned.

"Why did you have to save me Link? I killed the Great Deku Tree so I should be dead. I have loved Saria since we were created, and you show up and steal her from me. Just let me die."

I smelled the alcohol on his breath and asked, "How could you get that drunk that fast Mido, you should sell it in the Market. You would get rich instantly. I have contacts in the Market that would love to help you sell it."

"You, you really think so? I could be good at something for once? Deal." He stood up and strutted off.

"Man, am I tired. Ride off, save Saria, save Mido, and then to top it off, be nice to Mido. I am done for the day." I lay down next to Saria and she curled up next to me. I could have sworn as I started to drift off into sleep I heard Saria whisper, "Thank you Link."


	4. Date with Saria: Day 2

Hey everyone! I'm sorry if this story is too mushy, personallyI can't stand it right now but I figure I might as well get it over with. The next person will be better, I hope. Voting has commenced, so vote for whoever you want the next set to be on, joke dates excepted, just keep it to the girls already given.

(Link's Note/thought)

Author's Note/thought

Chapter 4, Saria Day 2

"You better wake up or the rest of the week will be gone." Saria nudged me but I groaned and rolled over, still too exhausted to get up. "Fine," She said in a huff, "have it your way.

"OH NO, GANONDORF HAS COME BACK AND IS BURNING DOWN THE WHOLE FOREST!"

"Damn it Ganondorf, why can't you stay dead." I yelled as I jumped out of bed and pulled the Master Sword out of its sheath. I saw Saria fall and ran to her. "Saria, are you-" I was cut off by her loud laughs. I instantaneously knew what had happened. A Gannon joke.

"Oh my Goddesses, you should have seen the look on your face." She squealed as I picked her up.

"Teach you to play a Ganon joke on me." At that she started to howl.

"You put me down this instant Link before…before…" She stuttered and I knew I had her.

"You'll do what? Kick me out? Pull another Ganon joke? Or maybe-"

"I won't let you have the breakfast I made you." I could have drooled, Saria made the best food.

"Foooood," I said like a zombie, and let go of Saria. Instantly, I grabbed Saria from the air right before she touched the ground. I lifted her back up and sat her down the bed. Our faces were just barely apart when Saria brought herself the last inch and we kissed deeply. After a few minutes I pulled back, "Food?" I whimpered, and Saria laughed before pulling my lips to hers.

"Aw… see now I'm really hungry." I complained before kissing her again. We got dressed and took the long cold food into the Lost Woods for a picnic.

"Here, I'll light the fire, see if we can't heat some of this up." I gathered some dead wood and shot a fire arrow at it. Just as I sat down a gust of wind blew it out. Many fire arrows later Saria was giggling at my obvious frustration. "Saria stand back. DIN'S FIRE!" The globe of fire grew and started the fire.

"I'm sorry I will be right back, I need to find some magic, and I am all out." She nodded and I walked through the woods, cutting any grass for magic, when I heard voices.

"_Rieal, I have missed you. I'm sorry-"_ Navi was cut off by Rieal.

"_Never mind that, it is just wonderful to have you home"_ he soothed and flew next to her. Goddesses, had I reduced myself to spying on fairies? I was about to leave when they lowered themselves onto a fallen log and their glows faded away. I gasped as I saw Navi's true form. She was extremely small, smaller than in her light form, and her skin had a slight pinkish tint to it, red tattoos, and her hair was long and red. Rieal has a greenish tint to his skin with green tattoos and short green hair.

Suddenly I felt the presence of someone behind me. I pulled out the Korki Sword and put it to the intruder's throat. I pulled the short sword from Saria and motioned for her to be quiet. We walked back an opening and I told her, "I am really sorry, I did not mean to, I just kind of…" I let my words trail off before explaining what I had seen. It was a great disrespect to see the true form of another's fairy if you were not married to that person.

It was silent for a few moments before she spoke again. "Well then I will just have to have a look myself."

Both of us went back and saw the two still on the log, Navi was leaning on Rieal, then he bent over and kissed her. We both went back to the fire and silently ate.

"_Is there a reason why you two are not talking"_ Navi and Rieal were back in their light forms and flew back to us.

"_Then again they weren't talking that much before in bed,"_ Rieal slyly commented. I looked away from Saria, praying that the heat in my cheeks was not a blush. Apparently it was because then Navi screamed it to all of Hyrule that the Hero of Time was blushing over the fact he slept with the Sage of the Forest. Or at least that I had slept, and then I stuffed her into a bottle. Rieal became so enraged that I was forced to let her go or continue to be hit with stones and insults by him.

"So what were you two doing while we were busy?" Saria questioned with a grin. After that both fairies kept their mouth shut.

It started to grow dark when Navi decided to retell my whole adventure. I noticed that as the story continued to unfold more and more Korki and Stalchildren those things like the imp in Majora's Mask, I forgot their name listened in. It seemed as if the whole woods were gasping at the bosses and awing at my feats. I could have sworn I even saw Mido in the background. By the time she reached the part of the Forest Temple, the listeners stopped bothering to hide themselves.

"…_And Ganondorf changed into this horrific monster, almost as large as the Great Deku Tree. Link fought hard and finally killed Ganon, and the world was freed from his evil might. The End!"_ The group clapped and left the dying fire.

"Wow Link, you have grown quite a lot in those few years." She smiled as I used an ice arrow to put out the fire. I put my arm around her waist as we exited the woods.

"I bet you would love to see your new house Link." She steered me to where my old house was.

It seemed to have grown wider and taller in the seven years I had been gone, and when I entered I gasped. The inside was perfect for me. Everything was larger to accommodate my size. I walked up the set of spiraling stairs to a workout room and my bedroom. Back downstairs I found a hole where the cow I won from Malon was kept.

"I hope you like it. It was the least the forest could do for how you saved it." Saria was standing by the door looking at her shoes as if in shame. "I suppose I should go now huh." She turned to leave before I stopped her.

"Only if you want to." I whispered, holding her tight.


	5. Date with Saria: Day 3

Hey there everybody. Personally, I don't really like this chapter, but that doesn't mean you shouldn't read it! It is pretty much an explaining chapter, so I hope it explains…um… a lot? Oh, and Mido's special stuff will play a bigger role in the story later, can anyone say stress relief? Vote now for your favorite couples or the ones you think will just make things more interesting!

(Link's notes/thoughts)

Author's notes/thoughts

Chapter 5, Saria Day 3

I awoke that morning and found that Saria was still sleeping. Down in the basement I grabbed some milk and decided to go for a walk. I decided to talk to Mido about the Special Stuff he wanted to sell, so I stopped at Mido's house. The image I saw would scar me for the rest of my life, a naked Mido with the twins. Hastily I scribbled a note to Mido about selling his special stuff, and left it on the front door. After looking around at the village that had not changed a bit since I had left it, I grew bored. I knew better than to try and cook for Saria, the last time I had tried left a huge scorch mark on the wall. So, I decided to go back home and practice fighting.

"Eww Link you reek. Go take a bath." Saria ordered when she found me training, and so I went to the pond in the Lost Woods. On my way back I ran into Mido.

"Got over Saria real fast didn't you?" I smirked at him as he blushed and mumbled about drinking too much.

"Are you going to help me transport my special stuff or not?"

"I have to make sure my contact wants your special stuff or not. I need some of it before I leave for town." Mumbling he handed over a bottle of his special stuff and I went back to Saria.

After eating with Saria, we decided to head to the Forest Temple. I transported us to the entrance where Saria had taught me her song. After sitting on the ledge in silence and thinking of the past I broke the stillness.

"What happened to you Saria? Why did you change?" She looked away as if saddened.

"I couldn't take it when you left Link. I stayed here for ever, praying that you would call or visit, afraid that if I left that spot you would never find me. Rieal tried to make me feel better, but I missed my best friend, I missed you Link. Mido visited every day, cursing you for leaving all of us; Mido missed you almost as much as me; but I never could.

"A while after you left for the Spiritual Stone of Water, darkness fell on the forest and I was forced to retreat back into the village. Then I spent seven years in my house, unable to leave because of the monsters, but then I heard the voices of the forest. I was afraid, but remembered your courage and went to the temple. But it was too evil for me to right, and then you called. I would have sobbed, but I was too angry. You left your best friend and didn't visit for seven years Link." She cut off my excuse and continued.

"I now know that you were unable to come, but before I knew the truth, I had every right to be upset. But you called, and came back, and saved me and the forest. Then you left again, but I knew you cared. The new Deku was kind and wise and listened to me for hours on end. He knew of a way for me to grow up, like you.

"I spent almost a year learning everything I could, from the mountains to the lake, the forest to the desert, the field to the castle. I trained, and grew stronger until the Deku Tree saw fit to teach me the secrets of the Korki.

"Each Korki is different for the others, and each one has seven forms. These forms are infant, child, teenager, adult, elder, wood, and fairy. It takes a long time for a Korki to change forms and they must have a strong body and mind. Along with a secret I cannot tell you I was able to progress to the next level. Also, when a Korki reaches their teenage stage, they can leave the forest, but they are weaker, that is why I got so sick when I fell.

"I just want you to know, whether you chose me or not, I have always loved you and always will." I held onto her as she sobbed and thought of how I had hurt everyone.


	6. Date with Saria: Day 4

Hey there everyone!. I just want to apologize to all of you. I am so sorry it has taken me so long to update. After February break I had a classtrip to D.C. and missed school, I got sick and missed even more school, and then I had a church retreat (hell on earth, they gave you pamphlets about all the things teens do wrong, and made you wait for three hours to talk to a priest for five minutes) and had no time to write my history research paper, the idiot sayed we had five weeks to work on it but it was really two. So I have been desperatly spending the last month or so trying to keep a passing grade. Normally I would have found time to update but my mom limited my internet or something so I couldn't even access the site! Once again I apologize deeply (wait, _apologize deeply_? is that a real saying or did I make it up?), and I now apologize for complaining. Back on topic now.

I wrote this chapter twice, the first one was depressing so I deleted it and started over. After the chapter 5 (and my life), this is my twisted idea of comic relief. I wanted to write something totally random, so here you go.

Chapter 6, Saria Day 4

When I woke up the next day, Saria was already gone. I figured that she needed to be alone or something, so I practiced fighting and later went to wash off. However, she was not there when I got back. Worried, I went to see if she was at her house.

"Saria, are you there?" I called into the house. When no one answered I really started to worry. "It's ok, she's probably in the Lost Woods, or maybe the Sacred Meadow, or maybe I should stop freaking out." Voting for the latter idea I roamed around the village and then decided to visit the New Great Deku Tree.

I finally came to the resting place of the Former Great Deku Tree, but the New Great Deku Tree (who from now on shall be called Great Shrub because I hate writing out his whole name every time) was nowhere in site.

Suddenly the music changed, it was the music I heard every time Ruto tried to sneak up on me in the water. Looking around I saw a stick poking out from the ground, and it moved towards me, and the music became faster and louder until the stick stopped, and everything was dead quiet.

"OOB," the Great Shrub jumped out of the ground sending me flying back until I hit the wall. The Great Shrub was like an iceberg, small at the top and freaking huge at the bottom. Instead of growing up he grew out, and was currently almost the width of the Old Tree.

"You said it wrong, it's BOO, not OOB. I have a gift for you though. Eat fire arrow stupid shrub." Ok kids this is what happens when you exercise too much without exercising your brain I shot a fire arrow at the massive blob and at the last moment heard him chant and ancient protection spell.

"I'm rubber and you're glue, what you do bounces off me and sticks to you." That's when my arrow hit him and flew back at me and I ran screaming.

"What the hell am I doing? I have the ultimate magic spells, duh!" I stopped running and yelled, "Nayru's-" and got hit by the fire arrow.

"Wow, I lost a heart, big deal." Then as I started to stomp back to the Great Shrub I passed out.

Saria Day 5

"_Wow Link, you shot yourself with your own fire arrow, you have reached an all time low."_ Navi continued to lecture me about fire safety and something about forest fires.

"I didn't shoot myself, I shot the Great Shrub and he sent it back to me." I muttered under my breath.

"_That was real smart Link. Let's all go and shoot pointy things at all powerful magical deities. I'm sure it will be fun as long as we don't get blown to smithereens. Then we can waste twenty-seven fairies as the stupid arrow still drains our hearts for a whole freakin' day"_

"If we get blown to smithereens, then how do we end up with fire arrows draining our life?"

"Link, unless you want to have your fairy kill you, I would stop."

"Oh, hey Saria, how are you today?"

"I am doing very well; I just need to come to an agreement on how I can pay back Mido for running to get fairies for you. I know he has always liked me so maybe I'll spend the night with-"

"Let me talk to him." I strode out the door and within seconds came to Mido's hut.

I knocked and he cried, "One moment Saria." Oh, this would be fun, I thought and I cracked my knuckles. Mido slowly opened the door and was stupid enough to have his eyes shut.

"Well Saria, ready for our date?" I glanced inside and saw candles and Mido's special stuff.

With a wicked smile on my face I reached out and stroked his cheek with the tip of my finger, and in my deepest voice whispered in his ear, "Of course Mido."

Mido screamed so loud his fairy flew out of the hut twirling and flying into things. "W-what are you doing here?"

"Oh, I just heard you save my life Mido, I came here to repay the debt." Pushing my way in I continued, "You're such a good friend Mido, saving me and looking after my girlfriend, that's why I felt I needed to pay you back."

"That's right, you owe me." I nodded, and he quickly regained his composure. "Then I want you to let me date Saria."

"Mido, I could never make Saria do anything she would be too repulsed to do, try again."

"I heard about the dating game. I want you to give Saria one of those white roses tomorrow." I had to find a way to get out of that one.

"You mean a red rose right. 'Cause if you want me to stop dating Saria I have to give her the red rose. If I give her the white rose she proceeds to the next round."

"Fine, give her the red rose, just get out of here. And call the twins over while you're at it."

"Have fun, oh and I need five barrels of your stuff at the Temple tomorrow, make sure you hide them from Saria." I left and notified the twins that Mido was looking for them.

"Well Link, what did he make you do?" Saria asked, and started getting ready to go to Mido's house.

"Tell you tomorrow, oh and you don't have to go to Mido's."

Saria jerked for a second, surprised, then defiant. "Who said I was?"

Still tired, I went and rested.

* * *

A/N: I just thought I would answer your reviews so... 

**SHiNiGAMiLENNE: **I know what you mean, now that I look back at it, that is a stupid reason for her to get sick, I will probably do something about that later. Thanks for your vote and for reading!

**Quandtuniverse:** Thanks! I appreciate it, thanks for reading!

**Rynada:**Yeah, Impa would be really tough... and I don't think Link will kiss _every_ girl, man's got to have some self control, I mean, Goron Link is highly unlikely, but I think it would be funny for him avoid girls who try to smother him (Ruto). I plan to change the whole Saria sick thing later on. Keep reading!

**MattAShine:** Wow, thank you, that means alot, I am glad you liked it. There are not many stories out there for Link and Saria so I felt that I should try to at least show what happened to her. I am happy that my story actually had an impact, thank you so much for reviewing!

**Blondie91:** Sorry about that, I hope I can fix that, it has kinda been a bad habit for me when writing. I hope you keep reading and giving me constructive criticism.

**Robinfan:** I am glad you enjoyed it, I plan to keep this going for a while, unless the general public finally slaps some sense into me...


	7. Date with Saria Ends Pissed Off Friends

Chapter 7, Saria Day 6

"_Wake up you lazy boy"_ Navi screamed in my ear before she started flying into me. Mumbling I got up fumbled down stairs.

"Morning Link," Saria bellowed, "here is some food. Sit down, sit down. Are you comfortable? Yes? Great, now you can…" she wrapped her arms around my neck and suddenly yelled, "What did you do to Mido?"

Startled, I fell off the chair. I moaned and reached into my bottomless pocket. "Mido was such an understanding person; he gave us his blessing and told me to give you this."

"Oh my Goddess, Oh my Goddess, Oh my Goddess…" she screeched and jumped up and down.

"_Are you going to take the damn rose or not!"_ Rieal screamed in her ear to get her to calm down. She slowly calmed down and turned back towards me.

"There is no way in hell Mido would have had you give me the red rose, oh Link tell me you didn't, I mean, he is still in one piece?"

An evil thought came into my mind, "Why don't you go check for yourself." Cautious, she left the house and I was pummeled by Navi.

"_Are you sure that is the best idea? If in the end you don't pick her, she will be all alone."_ She pointed out and I knew she was right. I quickly called out the window to Saria,

"Saria, come back here for a moment, he is in one piece, I was just kidding. Are you gonna take this stupid flower or what?" Slowly she came back to the window and I dropped the flower to her.

The second the flower touched her hands there was a huge explosion. I was thrown from my window and collided with Saria.

"Well Little Brother, it looks like I might have interrupted something, but because you gave her the flower early, you time is up early." Darunia was standing over up will a large smile.

"_How the hell does that work. You didn't tell us that and now you expect for me to allow him to leave?_" It was sort of scary watching Saria freak out, the whole forest seemed angry. Darunia whispered something in her ear and she paled for a second before looking at me.

"The Great Deku Tree wants you to stay here until the _SECOND ROUND!_" His voice boomed through the air and in one swoop picked me up and used a Deku Nut. When nothing happened he mumbled something about Impa and had me transport us to the Temple of Time.

"Alright, no one knows you are here, you have today and tomorrow to yourself. _Stay away from all of the other girls._ That is an order!" After another failed attempt with a Deku Nut he rolled off, mumbling.

The major question was what to do and where to go. I could go swimming, but then I would see Ruto, Castle meant Zelda, climbing meant Goron Link, shooting range meant Nabooru, and even calling Epona meant Malon (who cares about Anju?). I could always go to my house in Kakiro, (A/N: someone please tell me how to spell it, it is really getting on my nerves!) use the range there, maybe buy some supplies, throw rocks at chickens, and battle Poes.

"Alright, well then let's go Navi, oh crap." I wanted to cry, I left my hiding cloak, the one I use to avoid rabid fans so I can be _slightly_ normal, at home. "It's off to Bomb's; if you want Navi you can stay here for a bit, I know how much you hate him." With a grumble she flew off to annoy insects and other smaller objects.

Perhaps an explanation is in order. Bomb Man is a decent friend of mine; actually, he's one of my only non-sage friends, and defiantly the only one that freely speaks of thieving and other slightly illegal adventures with me. I am a major business partner for all of his ideas and his biggest (coughonlycough) customer. Ever since he put Navi in a jar and tried to get me to buy her, let's just say she hasn't been too fond of him. He runs a Bomb shop at night and that's where I am headed.

"What ya doin' here 'Ink? Can'tch ya see it's still bright out?"

"Ya take me for an idjit? You've got some nerve talkin' to me like that. And here I was gonna give ya somethin'." I had to talk to the Bomb Man like that or else I would be thrown out because I sounded too much like the guards.

"Just get in here ya slime bag, this better be better than your stupid, 'You should open during the day' idea," he mocked and opened the door, allowing the smallest possible amount of light in.

"How'd ya expect me to in ya idjit?"

"I don't, just give what ya want and leave,"

"Trade ya," I said, holding out Milo's special stuff.

"Look, just take the Goddess damn cloak and leave," he said harshly as he thrust my cloak (yes, _my_ cloak) and snatched the jar from my hand before slamming it. The first time he had ever acted like that, I was confused, but when I got home to several missing items it made sense. That's why I keep an inventory now and keep anything of slight value on me at all times.

"_You ready yet, Goddess you are slow,"_ Navi yelled as I jumped the fence to the Temple.

"Got my cloak, lets go check out the market." That always cheered up her up, women and shopping, go figure. I shoved the cloak over my head and Navi zoomed under the hood, just behind my ear, and dimmed her glow.

"_We're going shopping!"_ Navi whispered as I wrapped my face with bandages, just as Sheik had taught me, and headed to the Market.

Five hours later, I somehow managed to stumble home baring the weight of a new toy mansion, complete with a mini of every piece of furniture you could imagine. I also bought a new knife for Sheik, a 'please don't kill me' gift of sorts.

"Well, well, what do we have here? A baby and his toys," came the voice of doom.

"Look Sheik, would you shut up for a minute?" Alright, in retrospect, perhaps that was not the best thing to say.

"You shut up, you freaking bachelor. I help you out so much, I saved your ass countless times, taught you so much, hell, I even keep Ruto and the fans at a good ten foot radius. Do I ask for much? No, maybe a place to sleep, and oh yeah, NOT DATE MY GIRL!" He screamed (A/N: I ask that you use your imagination, in this story Impa's not the really ugly old witch. Try and humor me by thinking of her as someone Sheik might actually like).

"I didn't plan this, really! I mean, come on, I have to date Ruto. Do you really think I have any say in this? I would never try and steal Impa, because then I would lose my best friend."

"Really, so you mean, you didn't…oh, crap. Dude, I am so sorry."

"It's OK as long as you let me into my own house so I can sleep."


	8. Leading Up to Competition 2

Hey there everyone! Do I really say that every time? That's pretty lame, oh well. This chapter was going to be a space filler, but not any more. Stupid writers block. I'm going to get rid of the whole key to the guide, in fact I'm just going to write A/N: instead of the whole symbol thing. I might go back and change the format of the previous chapters so it isn't as annoying.

Chapter 8, a Day by Himself, Another Start

There was a loud knock on my door followed by Darunia's booming voice.

"Link, you open this door right now or I will burn it down." There was a shriek from the lady who looked after my house.

"Sir, please don't do that, here, I have the key. He was so tired when he came last night, I am sure he is just asleep. Please, Sir, do not do that. Oh, Goddesses forgive me." The door swung open just as I was about to let them in.

Darunia's face was filled with rage, no; not just his face, but his hair was bright red also. He grabbed me by the neck and started to shake me, but he didn't strangle me (don't ask me how, he just didn't, if he tried he would have broken my neck). Turned around to the woman and when she saw me she fainted. "I told you to stay away from everyone, and if you had, then every single contestant wouldn't be at the castle waiting for you, now would they?" He put me down, still angry, but yet calm as always.

"The other Kings probably found out, word spreads quickly, anyways Zelda probably found out because you had me transport." I looked at the woman, "Was that really necessary? Hold on, I'll write her a note so she doesn't worry. Could you put her on a bed or something? Thanks come on then." Darunia and I walked out and I pulled out my Ocarina.

"No brother, the women are all waiting for you at the gate."

"Oh my Linky-baby (A/N: major ego strike), I am so glad that dreadfully savage woman didn't hurt you. Don't you worry; I will win this challenge for you." (Calm, keep calm, think happy, bunnies, fairies, flowers, the forest, _SNAP_oh no the forest is burning, run bunnies, run. That is about where I lost control.)

"Ruto, you better-" Zelda put her hand over my mouth to prevent all the very hurtful, insulting, and threatening things from coming out of my mouth.

"Ha, like you could win anything in your life, fish face," Nabooru laughed and Ruto shoved me aside.

"And what can you do other than help Ga-" Ruto tensed as Nabooru snapped and lunged forward, knife in hand. No one _ever_ connects Nabooru with Ganondorf and survives. However, before she could strike the blow Darunia rolled between them.

"Ruto that was an awful thing to say. I can't believe you would do something like that," I tried to sound grave, and Ruto burst out in tears.

"Get over it you bratty little fish; I am so happy Zelda didn't turn out anything like you." Impa nudged her with her foot. I whispered thank you to Zelda who only nodded.

"Alright then everyone, I am to escort you to Zora's Domain, where you shall get your next test." Darunia told everyone and then just started to walk off. Confused, we all just followed, except for Ruto, who was about to jump into the water.

"If you jump in, you are disqualified." Darunia called back and everyone laughed, and Ruto waddled back up to us. Luckily, everyone else was kind enough to surround me so that she couldn't ambush me again.

"Link, do you know anything about the test?" I shook my head.

"No, but I'm sure it will be swimming oriented." They all nodded.

"Of course, the test was defiantly meant for Zelda, no offence, but I had no idea about some of those questions." Malon added, and they all murmured their agreement.

"Don't tell Ruto about this, but I was seven when I agreed to marry her, and I had no idea what she was talking about. Please, beat her, I don't care who, but a whole week…" I shuddered. A whole week with the one person who didn't know the meaning of 'shut up'. They all turned and gave me looks of condolence.

"You did not know about this did you? The whole game was a surprise to you, was it not?" Zelda questioned. I nodded and we all stopped.

"Here we are everyone, Zora's Domain. I cannot enter with you, so have fun." Darunia pushed through us and left.

"He's leaving me here? I can't swim, oh what am I going to do?" Goron Link started to sob.

"We don't know that you will have to swim, but don't you worry, alright. I'll look after you." I reassured her and she smiled. Ruto huffed and walked to the water fall.

"Stand back." She ordered and jumped into the water fall. She laughed as she started to make it though, but was suddenly shot backwards.

"Here, let me help you." I jumped down and helped her back up.

Impa played Zelda's lullaby, and we all entered.


	9. Competition 2: Top Hyrule Chef

It's chapter 9 already, it will be chapter 10 next time. I hope you have enjoyed my story so far, and feel free to review and tell me of any flaws. Also, I'm a touch stuck as to which girls to get kicked off; I'm planning to keep the Royal Four (explained in this chapter). I appreciate all of you who have helped me so far and for those who haven't, it would be greatly appreciated if you could help me decide, sort of like a vote for your favorite to continue.

I apologize for my inability to update in any form of a timely manner. What can I say? I'm lazy!

Oh and all of the contests I think from now on will be reality shows or something like that. Oh, okay, I can shut up now...

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Chapter 9, The Second Test

Everyone was stunned, for few of them had seen Zora's Domain before and none of them had seen it half-frozen. The waterfall was half frozen and the mist froze and clung to everything. Only once shallow areas were fully melted, and the melted water was almost as cold as the ice, it would be a long time before even the heartiest Zora would be able to live there.

"Ruto, my darling, come here." A voice boomed though the whole domain and we looked down on the ice. The Zora King was lying on the ice, his fat spread every where. Everyone covered their face to hide their laughter and smiles, excluding Impa. However, when Ruto jumped down and accidentally landed on him and got stuck, even she couldn't prevent a smile.

Several hours later the King was able to role on his side so we could pull her out.

"I thank pant all of you pant for helping me. Now it is time for the test. You need to be able to cook for your husband so the test will be a cooking contest. Link and I will judge. You will have to work fast or else everything will freeze."

"Wait, what are you saying, you mean that we will not be swimming or-or…" Ruto started to freak out, and the more she stuttered the more relieved I became. Well, then again I would have to date with her sooner or later, hopefully later though.

"Darling, honey bunch, my little tadpole-" Zelda and Malon both started to giggle and Ruto turned a bright red and yelled at him to get to the point. "Ahem, well then, you see if we had done a swimming contest Goron Link would have drowned and then an interracial war would have broken out, destroying hundreds of years' worth of work. But if you would really like a swimming contest…"

To all of our surprises, Ruto began to say that she did want a swimming race so Impa knocked her off the ledge and into the only small pool of water.

"Well then, rules are simple, all you have to do is prepare a meal and keep it warm for us to eat it. All of the ingredients are at the stations throughout the domain, and each station has one of your names on it. There can be no cheating because everyone will be somewhere else." He seemed highly proud of his genius, so I didn't point out to him that there was no way to keep them there and that many of them had powers that could easily get around this obstacle.

In my mind I set out the chances of winning for everyone. The royal four, Zelda, Goron Link, Ruto, and Nabooru, probably had never cooked before in their life but Nabooru was a survivor and the Zora King would not give a challenge his "little tadpole" could not win. Malon and Anju were pretty down to earth and had the greatest chance of winning. The wild card was Impa, I had no idea of her culinary talents, but I wouldn't put her too far up the list of potential winners.

"As I said before, Link and I will judge, but not today. You all seem very tired, so the test will begin in tomorrow. I suggest that all of you rest, and the library will be open to all of you. Good night ladies." He closed his eyes and instantly fell asleep.

"Wait, isn't just about mid-day?" Malon questioned and when Zelda whispered to her, she giggled and fell silent as we all gave them a stern look. Ruto straightened herself and started to walk away. We all started to follow her, but I motioned for the rest to stay as I continued alone.

"Listen Ruto, Zel and Mal are just talking, they don't know anything."

"Huh? Oh, you guys thought I was angry? No, no, I was guiding you to the library, but since no one is here…" She walked towards me with that scary look in her eye.

"Then I should probably go get them, wait right here." I dashed off the second she started to get close to me. I panted heavily when I reached the other women.

"Ruto's going to show us to the library, so if you will hurry up we can catch up before we get left behind. Oh and Zel, Mal, don't push it, ok? Come on."

"So Link, what do you like to eat?" Everyone was gathered around me, many, like the Royal Four, were grabbing as many cookbooks they could find. I was surprised that there were so many cookbooks in the library.

"I'll eat about anything, but hey, Ruto, why are their so many cookbooks?" Everyone around gave me a look and then I realized my mistake.

"Wait, I didn't mean it like that- I mean, wait…" That was when I was tackled by Ruto.

"Oh Linky, I could never be angry at you but you shouldn't worry about me, you could never do anything wrong."

"Well I confess, I could, so you better get off him or else you will become my main dish, fish sticks." Nabooru looked up from the book with a smile and drew a finger across her throat.

"I must agree, fish sticks do sound awfully good, I know a great dipping sauce for them," Impa put in and for a fleeting moment she smiled at Ruto. At that moment fishy girl shivered, let go, and practically ran to a corner.

"I like meat?" I practically asked trying desperately to change the subject. At that there was a flutter of paper as everyone searched for recipes with meat and tossing away cookbooks without them.

"Wow, meat, that's very specific Link. We all have a chance to win now," Impa, next to me, muttered.

"Nothing too fancy either, if I can't pronounce it, I won't eat it," I added, "I don't know, I can't cook so I normally just eat whatever."

"Are you sure you don't care what you'll eat?" Nabooru asked with a wide grin.

"I also like food that won't kill me, oh and if you could make me a meal that doesn't look back at me that would be nice too," I added in hastily and sat back to watch the tossing of books through the air.

I slightly tipped the chair back when suddenly something made contact with my forehead. With a bang the chair fell over with me still sitting on it. Everything stopped as I sat/lay there in shock before I started to laugh. Slowly everyone started to laugh and soon everyone was sitting on the floor chatting, ignoring the test that was to come.

"This is great, having all of you to talk to and such. I just hope after all of this crap we can all still be friends," I said with a sigh.

"It's not like we can kill you," Nabooru pointed out with a laugh.

"Thank the Goddesses."

We chatted for a little longer before we parted ways to our bedrooms for the rest of the night.

REMEMBER TO VOTE FOR YOUR FAVORITE TO WIN! AND DON'T PUT IT OFF BECAUSE THE LOWEST VOTES GET KICKED OFF FIRST!


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